Of Pleasure, Sensuality and Intimacy: Shobhaa Dé in conversation with Lilette Dubey at the Literature Live! The Mumbai LitFest 2025

Quotes

Shobhaa Dé: Reflecting on the impetus behind The Sensual Self, Dé shared that the book emerged from her long-held curiosity about why sexuality remains such a taboo topic. “It’s something that preoccupies, confuses, infuriates and thrills us, and yet, we don’t want to talk about it. I felt it was time for conversations that are candid and unfiltered,” she said.

Speaking of a world that has forgotten how to truly connect sans the screens, she added, “Language is tremendously policed. So we are anxious about what we say. We have also become anxious of touch. It has been super sexualised. This has made touch a violation. We have thought about addressing harms but not enabling pleasures. We don’t have a vocabulary for connection right now.”

Touching upon generational shifts, Dé remarked on the dilemmas of young people navigating a world of dating apps and blurred definitions of relationships. “Spreadsheets have replaced bedsheets,” she quipped, lamenting how romance has become transactional. Yet she expressed empathy for a generation finding its way amid rapid social change. “They are discovering new emotional equations for themselves. Who are we to judge?”

Lillete Dubey: Lillete Dubey praised the book for going beyond eroticism to explore tenderness, respect, and emotional intimacy. “It’s not a book about sex,” she said. “It’s about connection, respect, and the dying art of tenderness, the most undervalued word in our vocabulary today.”

Summary

The concluding third day of the 16th edition of the Literature Live! The Mumbai LitFest saw one of India’s most popular authors and columnists Shobhaa Dé launch her latest book, The Sensual Self. The evocative and thought-provoking session Passion Between the Pages featured a candid conversation between the iconic author and actor-director Lillete Dubey.

The evening opened with Dubey reading excerpts from the book that shimmered with warmth, and emotional honesty setting the tone for a lively and intimate discussion that followed. The reading drew appreciative applause from the audience, offering a glimpse into Dé’s lyrical yet provocative exploration of sensuality, intimacy, love, and the evolving dynamics of relationships across generations. Dé echoed the thoughts of a journalist who reviewed the book, calling it “a jasmine-scented revolution,” one that invites readers to reclaim sensuality as an integral, unabashed part of being human. 

The conversation spanned everything from the distortions of pop culture around love and marriage, to how digital life has redefined intimacy. Dé spoke movingly of India’s deep sensual legacy, from ancient poetry to temple art, contrasting it with modern discomfort around pleasure. “We come from a country that celebrates sensuality - in our dance, our music, our sculpture, even our fragrances,” she noted. “Then the colonisers arrived, and told us to feel shame. It’s time to reclaim what was always ours.”

The session ended on a reflective note, as Dé described writing The Sensual Self as an act of memory, nostalgia, and truth-telling. “Writers must be selfish,” she said. “If you can’t write truthfully, don’t write at all. Writing demands integrity, but also sensitivity. You can write with intensity without being insensitive.”

The audience responded with warmth and applause to a discussion that was at once humorous, honest, and deeply humane, true to the spirit of Shobhaa Dé’s enduring voice.